Every Human in Huville liked people a lot…
But the Trump, who lived up in Trump Tower did NOT!
The Trump hated people – unless they adored him!
But most of the Humans in Huville abhorred him
He might have been influenced by the alt-right
He might have been mad ‘cause his wig was too tight
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was the fact that his hands were two sizes too small
But, whatever the reason, his hands or his wig
He lived his whole life like a spoiled little pig
From his tower he glared at American voters
On the eve of becoming the 45th POTUS.
For he knew that the people of every nation
Were ready to protest his inauguration.
“And they’re painting their placards!” he snarled with a sneer
“Tomorrow’s the protest! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his small fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop marchers from coming!”
For tomorrow he knew all the world’s girls and boys
Would wake bright and early and form their convoys
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then all of the Humans would go to the march
And they’d march and they’d march and they’d
They would shout in the streets ‘til their throats became parched
That they wanted to end this Trumptacular farce.
And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all
Every single protestor the tall and the small
Would stand up against him with protest drums beating
And Trump would get angry and then he’d start Tweeting
And he’d Tweet and he’d Tweet and he’d
And the more the Trump Tweeted illiterate Tweets
The more the Trump thought “I must stop those deadbeats!”
“I’m clearly the greatest; those people should bow!
I MUST stop this protest from coming!
Then he got an idea!
A bigly idea!
THE TRUMP GOT A GREAT, SUPER GREAT, REALLY, REALLY GREAT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT, IDEA!
“All I need is a sidekick
To help with the deed
Someone who’ll pretend to let me take the lead”
So he called his friend Pence who was watching some porn
And said “Come and help me – and put some pants on!”
So Mikey had one last sad tug of his dong
And he took one last hit on his favorite bong
Faster than you can say funerals for fetuses
Pence ran to Trump and they measured their penises
Then Trump said “let’s focus!”
And they headed down
To the homes where the Dems
Lay a-snooze in their towns.
All the windows were dark in the liberals’ houses –
Pencey and Trumpy approached them like mouses
“This is stop number one” the old Trumpikins hissed
As he punched through the window with one tiny fist
Then he squeezed through the window with Mike watching, tense
But if Trumpy could do it, then so could Mike Pence.
So Mike squeezed in after and dropped to the floor
Of the house that belonged to…. Michael Moore!
They saw protest signs all stacked in a row
“These placards” Trump grinned, “are the first things to go!”
So he slithered and slunk in his typical manner,
Around the whole room, and he took every banner!
They took every loud hailer, sticker and sign
And his Oscar for Bowling for Columbine!
They took all his flags and his protest route maps
And his massive collection of baseball caps!
And the one baseball cap that they left on the floor
They both took a dump in for Michael Moore
Then they did the same thing to all who malign them
From Angela Davis to Gloria Steinem!
At quarter past dawn
Trump farewelled his VP
And headed back home just as fast as can be
58 floors up! To the top of Trump Tower
Where golden-haired Trump took a nice golden shower
And strutted about feeling quite braggadocious
Reveling in his untreated psychosis
“The marchers are waking to find their signs stolen!
And all their hats soiled with the fruits of my colon!”
“And when they wake up to my marvelous joke
They all will give up and they’ll bow to my yoke”
So Trumpy looked out and awaited his fans
Impatiently rubbing his two tiny hands
He stared down at Hu-ville
Then Trump popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a HUGE surprise!
Every one from both aisles – the left and the right
Was marching without any placards in sight!
He hadn’t stopped marchers from coming!
Somehow or other, they came just the same!
And the Trump stood there puzzling and scratched his toupee
And wondered how things had gone so far astray
“They came without protesting paraphernalia!
How could it be that my plan was a failyure?”
And he puzzled three hours, till his wee brain was spent –
And he realized the people would never be bent
“They will not give up and they will not relent!
They’ll never accept me as their president!”
And what happened then…?
Well the story, they say
Is that Trump’s orange face, turned a little bit grey
And the minute he thought of the laws he had breached
And the hate he had preached
And the money he’d leeched
Would in time