HOW THE TRUMP STOLE AMERICA

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Photo by Design Crowd

 

 

Every Human in Huville liked people a lot…

 

But the Trump, who lived up in Trump Tower did NOT!

The Trump hated people – unless they adored him!

But most of the Humans in Huville abhorred him

 

He might have been influenced by the alt-right

He might have been mad ‘cause his wig was too tight

But I think that the most likely reason of all

Was the fact that his hands were two sizes too small

 

But, whatever the reason, his hands or his wig

He lived his whole life like a spoiled little pig

 

From his tower he glared at American voters

On the eve of becoming the 45th POTUS.

For he knew that the people of every nation

Were ready to protest his inauguration.

 

“And they’re painting their placards!” he snarled with a sneer

“Tomorrow’s the protest! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his small fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find some way to stop marchers from coming!”

 

For tomorrow he knew all the world’s girls and boys

Would wake bright and early and form their convoys

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

 

That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

 

 

Then all of the Humans would go to the march

And they’d march and they’d march and they’d

MARCH!

MARCH!

MARCH!

MARCH!

 

They would shout in the streets ‘til their throats became parched

That they wanted to end this Trumptacular farce.

 

And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all

Every single protestor the tall and the small

Would stand up against him with protest drums beating

And Trump would get angry and then he’d start Tweeting

 

And he’d Tweet and he’d Tweet and he’d

TWEET!

TWEET!

TWEET!

TWEET!

 

And the more the Trump Tweeted illiterate Tweets

The more the Trump thought “I must stop those deadbeats!”

“I’m clearly the greatest; those people should bow!

I MUST stop this protest from coming!

…But how?”

 

Then he got an idea!

A bigly idea!

THE TRUMP GOT A GREAT, SUPER GREAT, REALLY, REALLY GREAT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT, IDEA!

 

“All I need is a sidekick

To help with the deed

Someone who’ll pretend to let me take the lead”

So he called his friend Pence who was watching some porn

And said “Come and help me – and put some pants on!”

So Mikey had one last sad tug of his dong

And he took one last hit on his favorite bong

 

THEN

Faster than you can say funerals for fetuses

Pence ran to Trump and they measured their penises

 

Then Trump said “let’s focus!”

And they headed down

To the homes where the Dems

Lay a-snooze in their towns.

 

 

All the windows were dark in the liberals’ houses –

Pencey and Trumpy approached them like mouses

“This is stop number one” the old Trumpikins hissed

As he punched through the window with one tiny fist

 

 

Then he squeezed through the window with Mike watching, tense

But if Trumpy could do it, then so could Mike Pence.

So Mike squeezed in after and dropped to the floor

Of the house that belonged to…. Michael Moore!

 

They saw protest signs all stacked in a row

“These placards” Trump grinned, “are the first things to go!”

 

So he slithered and slunk in his typical manner,

Around the whole room, and he took every banner!

 

They took every loud hailer, sticker and sign

And his Oscar for Bowling for Columbine!

They took all his flags and his protest route maps

And his massive collection of baseball caps!

 

And the one baseball cap that they left on the floor

They both took a dump in for Michael Moore

 

Then they did the same thing to all who malign them

From Angela Davis to Gloria Steinem!

 

 

At quarter past dawn

Trump farewelled his VP

And headed back home just as fast as can be

 

58 floors up! To the top of Trump Tower

Where golden-haired Trump took a nice golden shower

And strutted about feeling quite braggadocious

Reveling in his untreated psychosis

“The marchers are waking to find their signs stolen!

And all their hats soiled with the fruits of my colon!”

 

“And when they wake up to my marvelous joke

They all will give up and they’ll bow to my yoke”

 

So Trumpy looked out and awaited his fans

Impatiently rubbing his two tiny hands

 

He stared down at Hu-ville

Then Trump popped his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a HUGE surprise!

 

Every one from both aisles – the left and the right

Was marching without any placards in sight!

 

He hadn’t stopped marchers from coming!

They came!

Somehow or other, they came just the same!

 

And the Trump stood there puzzling and scratched his toupee

And wondered how things had gone so far astray

“They came without protesting paraphernalia!

How could it be that my plan was a failyure?”

 

 

And he puzzled three hours, till his wee brain was spent –

And he realized the people would never be bent

“They will not give up and they will not relent!

They’ll never accept me as their president!”

 

And what happened then…?

 

 

Well the story, they say

Is that Trump’s orange face, turned a little bit grey

And the minute he thought of the laws he had breached

And the hate he had preached

And the money he’d leeched

 

He knew

He himself

Would in time

Be impeached

 

 

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