There’s a Zombie Apocalypse in my Bedroom

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Zombie Apocalypse

This is a little embarrassing and a lot unimportant in the grand scheme of life – but it’s 4am here in New Zealand and I am too scared to go back to sleep because I just had ANOTHER nightmare after binge-watching The Walking Dead.

Content of the nightmare [skip this paragraph if hearing about other people’s dreams makes you slip into a boredom-induced coma. Personally, every time I hear someone say “I had the most amazing dream last night” I incant under my breath “please don’t tell me about it. Please don’t tell me about it”. My incantations are never effective and I find myself with a frozen smile on my face, nodding inanely to their story about how they were walking along the road and they saw a cat sitting on top of a chicken and next to it there was another chicken on top of another cat and WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!!!! (n.b.: that was a real dream my sister had. Like all dreams, it meant NOTHIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!)] Ahem. Skip this bit if you want: My husband and I (somehow) knew the walkers were coming our way so we were considering how to set up fortifications in my suburban street and trying to convince our friends the threat was real and that they should join us. We were gathering weapons, and I was cursing the fact that I don’t know a single person with a gun (DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WHEN YOU CALLED FOR TIGHTER GUN CONTROLS? WELL DID YOU?). We were writing out our wills and (even in my dream this was every bit as boring as I imagined writing a will would be. Luckily we don’t own anything good so this part of the dream didn’t last as long as it might have) I was planning on where to take the kids while we had our epic battle (ok, so planning childcare for the zombie apocalypse sounds kind of silly, now that I think of it, but at the time it was REALLY EMOTIONAL, ALRIGHT?) and all through this process of course no one was taking us seriously and we were like Dennis Quaid (was it him?) in that movie where he is saying all the ridiculous stuff about the world going to end and no one believes him and we the viewers are like “you skeptical idiots, why won’t you believe him?” even though in real life I am that skeptical idiot and…. that’s probably enough detail for you to get the gist (she says, ending the interminable dream story when you get the gist rather than making you sit through the entire dream, even the weird bits where my husband is not my husband anymore, he has really turned into my brother but he’s still sort of my husband doyouknowwhatimean but it’s not weird in the dream because he is actually………………………………………..)

Well now that I think of it, there weren’t any actual zombies in my zombie apocalypse nightmare – just a lot of meticulous planning – but it still managed to be VERY scary.

So here is my extremely important, not frivolous at all, way more important than women’s health issues or whether it’s really such a good thing that exchange rates are coming down, because what about the exporters? (n.b. I don’t know if exchange rates are coming down or not. It was just an example, alright? Don’t go running out and getting a mortgage and then blaming KapaiGirl when you can’t afford the repayments) question:

Do I stop watching The Walking Dead because it is giving me nightmares, or do I keep watching it because it is a really, really good show?

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One Response

  1. Allie

    October 3, 2015 6:34 am

    Oh Jess, I have zombie dreams too! They are terrifying! I haven’t watched the Walking Dead because I think that would be a bit too much for me. Funnily enough though, I am watching Sean of the Dead right now!


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